Why Not Plan a Second Child

I am a voracious reader and an avid observer. Being proactive on social platforms, I always come across a BIG Question?

Is the second child important?

Why people suggest a second child…and blah, blah, blah.

All such queries pour in from new mommies whose child is mostly above 4 years of age.

The new generation’s parents are confused about taking up the responsibility of a second child.

Who will take care of my child, …and much more?

You will find different forums painted with immense queries and fears of

“Having a Second Child or Not?”

My years of experience and observations say,

“Why Not Plan a Second Child?”

Once you decide to enter into parenting after marriage, stick to the rule,

“Hum Do, Hamare Do.”

The crowd that fears having a second child comes up with a flimsy excuse, “We are into Population Control,” an invalid excuse. Actually, they run away from taking the responsibility and upheavals of managing two.

In this bid, you are depriving your child of Sibling Bonding and years later, and your child might hold you responsible for the deprivation.

Let’s come to the point of discussion of Demerits of Having a Single Child.

1. Core Attention: your total attention is on the single child, and you become over conscious and overprotective. This hampers the personality of an only child because he feels overburdened by your core attention and it affects their freedom. You don’t let him/her venture out alone.
2. Turns Selfish: he enjoys having everything alone, and he does not develop a habit of sharing or do not approve to share with their cousins, peers, or friends. They turn out to be selfish and over-possessive.
3. Pressure to Excel: due to undue attention on the studies of the child, the child is pressurized to excel. These days, the scores define the parent’s status in society, and in a bid to show in public, the child becomes a victim of the same.
4. Bored with Over Involvement of Parents:  the child is at wit’s end because of the over-involvement of parents in minute things. The parents are right on their perspective, but asking for more and more keeps the child in a fix.
5. Sole Caregivers: A single child becomes a sole caregiver to their elderly parents. They feel that having a sibling would have been a hand for them, minimizing their burden.

Come to the Merits of Having a Second Child

Before marriage and after marriage, my choice of having two kids stood erect. We were five, but I had consolidated to 2 of favoring the Government rant, “Hum Do, Hamare Do.”

Still, I am in favor of two kids and if asked, I answer in affirmative supporting it.

There are valid reasons to support and for the sake of your first child, plan SECOND for their happiness.

1. Parents Attention is Diverted: your core attention is diverted because your focus lies on two. It eases your anxiety of losing, and simultaneously, the overburdened child feels free to enjoy their freedom.
2. Sibling Bonding: they develop a close sibling bonding with each other, which cannot truly develop among cousins, peers or friends. How much they fight, they will stand for each other.
3. Sharing: Siblings develop a habit of sharing. They will share each and everything. They rely on each other for playing, fighting and sharing each other secrets. However close you become to your child, you cannot replace a sibling relationship, remember.
4. Pressure to Excel is Shared: your attention to excel in their studies, play or activities are divided between the two. The ability and capacity of each child differ and they both can together fulfill your unrealized dreams and whims.
5. Socialize Well: they are conditioned to socialize within the precincts of home and outside. A feeling of loneliness vanishes.
6. Great Friends: they nurture a close bond and become good friends in the long run. When the parents cease to exist, they owe their siblings – a feeling of ownership still exists.

When You Shouldn’t Plan a Second Child

There are instances where you wish to go for a second child, but you cannot.

Don’t go for it if you are:

Not physically fit and fine to bear another child

Any partner suffering from chronic and irreversible diseases

If your income is not stable and financially not in a position to spend on the second life

In normal circumstances, Plan a Second Child. Once you are blessed with it, your family will be complete, and your child will have a shoulder to rest on. Second Child is a Grand Gift for your First Child.

Disclaimer: Don’t judge me, it’s my outlook. There are families who did not go for a second child, and now the parents feel sorry for their unwise decision and the single child lonely.