Tears Rolled Down My Cheeks #StorytellersBlogHop

Whole crowd was excited to welcome the Fashion Designer, J. Laara. She had attained lot of success in fashion industry and had carved a niche for herself. Her creations in the identity of J. Laara were well-known by the people but no one had seen her personally. Her personality was a suspense because in all newsprint and media, her creations spoke volume but never ever she shared her snap.

I too was there in the crowd and equally excited to see her in person…Finally, she arrived on the dais, surrounded by models. Her personality did not match with her creations…I may sound rude, it was just the reverse of her creations and her popularity in the industry, yet, she was successful. Her lucky stars illuminated her life with success, name and fame, and prosperity.

She walked across the dais with a group of tall, lanky woman and male models. The confidence brimmed from her persona and applaud by the huge crowd showed her popularity in the industry.

I was reminded of the adage, ‘Don’t go by the looks, admire the grace and the effort in making one genuine’ and it appeared quite true in the context of this fashion designer.

I walked close to the dais to complete my work as a photographer for my magazine, ‘Grace in Vogue.’

When I clicked her from close quarters and checked in my camera, I was totally aghast.

She was my classmate, ‘Sanjana’ and once upon a time, we shared a close bonding but due to some specific reason, we drifted apart and never ever knew about her existence.

Today, I was standing close to her but could not connect with her.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and it was difficult for me to realise, ‘were those tears of happiness, sadness or jealousy to watch her popularity. I wanted to move out but my professional commitment did not let me leave the place…I could not compromise with my profession and with heavy heart, I took shots one after another.

After catwalk, she took mike to tell about her life journey but she cut short and discussed about her lust for fashion and how she made it into the list of the toppers in the niche of fashion.

After completing my commitment, I sanked on one of the sofas to relate J. Laara with Sanjana. I had lot of queries thronging in my mind and I wished to get the answers instantly but this did not seem possible.

I sent my ID card to J. Laara requesting her for an interview. She was ready to give an interview, such a big shot ready to be interviewed by me, it was a great day of my career but I knew that once she would be near, I will throw more of personal questions because I wanted to know her real face behind the mask of J. Laura.

Finally, we were in front of each other after the fashion show. I saw her from close quarters and she was no other than “Sanjana.”

“Hello Sanjana,” I said waving my hand.

“Sorry, cannot hug you due to Covid, hope, you don’t mind. Ila Varma, here. Hope, you still remember in spite of the differences that was brewed by the society and we were compelled to change our directions.”

“No more Sanjana, Ila dear. Sanjana died long back and now I am leading fashion designer, J. Laara. Tears rolled from the corner of her eyes and the pain was remarkable on her face.” She said.

“Whole world identifies you as your name in the industry but for me, still Sanjana alive.” I said promptly.

“Ila, please don’t do this. What Sanjana had in her life – a painful childhood, an immoral father who brought scars to our family or a helpless mother, who dared to live for her children in spite of huge difference in her conjugal life.” She said.

“Whhhaaat…I envied your life dear. You had all the comforts and luxuries and you had free access to things that you wanted. Mine was just the reverse, we had cars but not allowed to visit friends, restaurants or markets frequently. Our each movement was checked and I thought that we lived a life of bonded labour.” I shared my feelings that brewed inside me when we were classmates.

“It was an illusion, dear. I had to murder myself so that people don’t recognize my real identity. I changed my name, address, and everything related to Sanjana. Do you know, why? Because my immoral father scarred our life with his misdeeds and sexual advances and one day, he was killed due to his overt sexuality. We were more pampered and given free stage to wander because my father did not have time with his business and whatever time he had, he satiated his hunger for sex. Mom died early, now, I analyze why she was so stressed and left the cruel world early…My father, the most rogue person.” She said.

“We were made to drift apart because your parents and close acquaintance came to know the reality of my father and his real face came into picture when he was caught red-handed at brothel. I was a mere 15 at that time and it shattered me. My broken heart was solaced by a man, who was 10 years older than me. I confided in him and left my place forever. We married secretly and started staying as a couple. Within a span of four years, I was a mother of two kids. I got engaged with my kids and he got engaged to another girl, much younger to me. It shattered me to the core and I left his place with a notion – “Men are vultures”. I had interface with two men and both were hungry for sex.

Life was tough with two girls but I had promised to myself, not to trust Men and mark a niche for my existence. Here, the trait of my Mom helped me, and gradually, fighting with odds, I succeeded in making a place of myself in this world of cruel vultures. I transformed myself to J. Laara and Sanjana was brutally murdered by my own hands. I don’t want that identity because life was a pain and a painful encounter with life. I am J. Laara for you, too. Dear Ila. Hope, you got the answers to all the questions that were ringing in your mind.”

This time, my tears rolled down incessantly but no tears showed in my eyes of Laara. She was transformed into a strong woman and the scary storms in her life, off and on, had converted her into as hard as stone.

“I was the one who cried on simple pretext but now, I am stone-hearted. However tough, life sinks in, I never get perturbed now. Do you know, why? Because I have no one around who can wipe my tears. I am into the industry of glamour and there is no place for remorse. I need to wear my smiles always else will entertain me. For the first time, I entered the stage after repeated requests from my sponsors and I dared think that here in California, no one would recognize me. But, I was wrong. You identified me in the whole crowd. I never entertain interviews but seeing your name on the ID card, I agreed.”

“Ila, recognize me as a happy-go-gal, J. Laara. Dump Sanjana and promise me that you won’t touch my past nor will discuss my existence.

“Agreed, God Promise,” I said.

We exchanged our numbers with the hope to meet further and she moved for her next commitment.

For few minutes, I stood still and it was a reality that she had taken rebirth as J. Laara and her confidence was much better.

Again, I was reminded of one of the adages of my granny, “People Don’t Change, Time Changes Them.