Once marriage was considered as a sacred institution and love and commitment was the essence of the couple relationship.
Since a few years, the term marriage has undergone transformation and it has more become a pact of convenience…the current generation thinks so and has started believing…consequence broken homes.
People get attracted to Love and love to sail through but when asked for marriage…some back out or buy time…the reason, they (both the gender) are not willing to get into commitment…a fear of losing individuality, freedom, career etc.
Within a few decades, divorce has become common and the reasons for separation are petty and flimsy, in most of the cases. There are cases of mental and physical abuse and it is equally faced by both the gender. The fair sex cases are more reported in comparison to the male because male ego does not let the reality of abuse escape in the society.
These days, there is a huge discussion on different online forums and the way the people describe at times leaves me in disbelief, wondering
“Is the Relationship of a Couple Mere a Piece of Paper?”
I find the given Reasons flimsy and a phase of time that will pass soon but people are reluctant to continue the relationship and start looking for walking out of marriage and suing each other.
For the purpose of educating people, who are in a relationship or are contemplating should very well know that these petty reasons are not valid to break the sanctity of marriage.
Reasons put up by the Couples
1. Adjustment with In-Laws
Both the partners come from different background, tradition, and culture whether it is arranged marriage, inter-caste or inter-religion marriage. In the initial phase, it will take time for both the partners to accept another set of parents and give equality care to them. This is to be understood by both the partners and if any one of them is not at par, then make the partner understand the things coolly instead of locking horns. If required take the help of parents to overcome the weird feelings of each other. With the passage of time, bonding will develop if the interest would be there to maintain a relationship. Mostly girl’s feels bonded in the adjustment issue with the in-laws and it is the right of the boys to make their partner understand and things can be improved by understanding, love, and patience. Putting blame on each other, contemplating suicide or divorce is a childish behavior and it should never be thought of.
2. Compatibility Issues
Another major issue that crops up in the marriage is the compatibility issue. The partners are not ready to accept each other interests and flaws. Just compare yourself with your siblings and same age friends does your mental and physical wavelength matches. It never would be the same though brought up by the same set of parents, there is a huge difference in the behavior of siblings. How can you dream of a compatible partner? The interests, hobbies, skills won’t match rather in most of the cases, it is just the opposite. The couple should work on each other strength and try to help to overcome their flaws. It won’t happen in a day, it will take years, so accept the partner and try to nurture by love and care. Over-demanding, cribbing, and nagging won’t reap fruits of love and affection. Don’t conclude to walk out of marriage because of the compatibility issue. These are the things which can be straightened by love, patience and being happy.
3. Looking for Equality
There is no match in the male and the female, both are physically and mentally different hence the power of doing things and accepting things are different. Don’t compare and try to compete with each other. A woman is strong and has the ability to go through the nerve-wracking labor pain for bearing a child. A man is physically strong but mentally, he is not stable as a woman. A woman can withstand adversity of any kind but a man succumbs easily. Accept each other potentials and help each other in time of crisis.
It is said,
“If you educate a man, you educate one man but if you educate a woman, you educate a family. ” It is a bare fact.
4. Second Child Issue
With time, raising a child has gone great transformation and there are cribbing amongst couple for the number of child in the family. Mostly, the first child is welcome but a difference arises in case of a second child. If the wife desires, husband denies and vice-versa. It becomes a major issue of conflict between the couples who have a difference in opinion and both seem to feel that they are been denied of their rights. Don’t fight for it or make an issue. Understand each other point and if you both are physically and financially stable, gift your child a cute sibling. Companionship is important for a child.
5. Career & Profession
A man becomes eligible for marriage if he is working and financially sound. These days, girls too are working and many families look for a working girl for the alliance. After marriage, in many cases, it becomes a major issue of difference and the couple is at loggerheads. Accept each other professional commitment and adjust accordingly. Check the priorities and though women are working still the major population of the working chunk are males. The males have the responsibility of looking after their family commitments though women too are contributing at large. Mostly, women have to give up and take a temporary leave to take care of a child. The male should support her emotionally and help her out to fight with the guilt of leaving the job. It is an important phase of life and a mother’s lap is the first school of the child. There are cases where a woman has a stable job compared to her man, so judge the priorities and take decision accordingly.
6. Financial Imbalance
Financial imbalance calls for a lot of trouble in the relationship of a couple. Life is a roller coaster ride and life can be fraught with difficult times. Stand by each other in time of crisis and boost the morale of each other and be the strength to your partner. Don’t curse or abuse your fate or your partner, it is the time phase and this shall pass. Helping each other will go a long way in establishing a long-lasting strong relationship.
Through my post, I request all the couples not to react on these petty and flimsy reasons. There is nothing to fret and fight and walk out of the bonding of marriage.
A couple relationship is a relationship of give and take, both submit to each other physically, emotionally and mentally and a mere piece of paper cannot break the relationship easily.
In cases where you feel low and shattered, communicate with each other with love and concern and give enough space to each other to breathe. The decision taken in haste is futile, give time to assess the pros and cons.
After going through a mess of separation and divorce, partners will be left alone and the scar of losing each other will always be there.
The relationship is just like planting a seed, it takes time to germinate, grow, flower and give fruits. Just as we nurture plants to grow, the same way, we should nurture the relationship and give time to grow.
It takes years to build and seconds to raze, the choice is yours.
Many would criticize my take. I am ready for the brick batting but do give time to think and realize the importance of the relationship.
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54 replies on “Are Relationships of A Couple Just a Piece of Paper?”
Loved this post!! #Viddhreads #MyfriendAlexa
Thank U
Sometimes all these reasons work together and leave no choice for the couple. I personally feel that it is a personal call too. Loved reading your points as well!
Relationships take time to grow n prosper so one should give time to nurture rather than concluding in haste.
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Valid points, Ila! As you said, a relationship takes ages to be nurtured, but can be cut off in a moment of anger or despair. Sad, but true! Well written!
#DeepTiesReads #MyFriendAlexa
Thanks Deepti
Lovely comparison
Nice points…sometimes, marriage is a tough relationship but can be managed with time and patience…
True jayanthi
Since I belong to the new generation you speak of, I disagree with some pointers here. Regardless, I agree that relationships need time to iron out differences. It is up to the people in the relationship to decide how much time they are willing to devote to the relationship.
Generation gap isn't it…still love conquers all differences, remember
Respect and agree with most of your viewpoints.
Thanks Milan for agreeing
Sometimes agree with disagreements and move on. Marriage is not between two people. Its between two families ,sad that many people end with a piece of paper.
Lets help people to change their mindset and guard the relationship as a sacred institution.
I believe in the sanctity of marriage but when it starts affecting a person's mental health and shows no signs of improvement it's best to let it go. I totally agree that one should not be impulsive and end it. Both people have to make a conscientious effort to work at it. Respect your views.
Let it go when there is no chance of improvement but don't spoil the relationship on mere excuses.
Respect your points but I still believe if a relationship is not working, its not working. There's no point dragging it, life doesn't stop after divorce. Some reasons may appear trivial to us but for somebody it may be of utmost importance. So, if you are in a suffocating relationship, better move out and breath some fresh air!
Everyone is free to express their views but remember any relationship to linger long term requires love and patience.
Relationship is not just a piece of paper. It is a bond which ties a couple together against all odds of life. Very nicely written.
Happy to know such positive view from you.
It takes time, it definitely takes time to nurture this relationship. I am of the opinion if one has given everything to stay in this institution and yet failed there is no point in staying together. But yes, it shouldn't be broken with one stroke of axe.
Exactly…try to improve n if it does not work out in extreme cases, you can think of walking if the issue is severe n difficult to handle.
Loved reading this post and it takes two to nurture any relationship.
Exactly Pooja…love your views
Relationship needs effort and time. It needs lots of patience and understanding from both the partners for a marriage to work. But in some cases if nothing works there is no point to keep clinging on to such relationship. Such marriages play havoc with the mental and physical health of the person involved. It's better to let go.
I am not professing to stay in absurd circumstances but my insistence is to overlook petty reasons for developing friction and scarring relationship.
Somehow in earlier times, women used to keep bending down; whereas they refuse to now, hence the change in trends. It's time society too needs to think. In-laws need to change mindsets. sometimes walking out is better than being miserable whole life. My POV.
Marriage is a relationship between two individuals and their family and each one of us has the responsibility to make it work. It is not about stooping low, love can mend relationships and love enables to overlook simple flaws.
It's true, relationships, marriages are changing with time. It's easier to call the quits, earlier society would not let you.
Quitting is not the solution. Working to make marriage work will be better excluding grave situations.
These days the definition of marriage has really changed.
Yes, we need to retain the essence for a happy family and happy society.
Good points. These days couples don't work at their marriage when u have to every day. #wordsmithkaurreads
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The definition of marriage has changed manifolds. women have equal say and men are more cooperating. #surreads #myfriendalexa #blogchatter
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A marriage is an institution. It needs a lot of sweat to make it work. To make it work, a lot of acceptance and adjustment on part of both members, in equal measures is a must.
A very well thought piece of thought Illa. Every point was worth pausing for a while and reflecting upon.
Thank you Anagha…may everyone think the same n maintain the sanctity giving new touch to the relationship that is turning sour due to false pride and ego.
Tidayi read in newspaper about adultury and marriage new laws ..the world is turning something in new way
The SC statement has left loose ends and it is going to disturb peace of marital chord.
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Marriage is not just a a knot that brings two people together, its a bond; a commitments promise that you do with your soul mate.
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Agree Alpana
Yes, A couple relationship takes time and a lot of effort from both sides.
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Wow such a beautiful post and i loved the ending most. I agree relationships requires time, patience, commitment and understanding. you had summed up it so beautifully. #Surbhireads
Thanks Surbhi
Beautifully summed up! All relationships need patience, a bit of compromise and most importantly, a whole lot of trust. If you do not believe in each other, there is no point in going on…
Thanks for your views, I wish to convey not to nip in the bud, let it grow if it prospers stay back, if it withers, move ahead but don't take action in haste.
Relationships prosper when there's contribution from both sides. Nice post, Ila:)
Very sensible post. We fail to learn from history and other countries. They failed in family and relations, and start to look at us and wonder. And here we are, looking at them and try to replicate their disaster here.
Well Articulated!
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