“Break the age old taboo Mitali, distribute the work among
your kids and your husband and soon you will find enough time for yourself.” I
advised my neighbour Mitali, whom I found her on toes, overburdened with work
and the creases on her face said that she was irritated at heart.
your kids and your husband and soon you will find enough time for yourself.” I
advised my neighbour Mitali, whom I found her on toes, overburdened with work
and the creases on her face said that she was irritated at heart.
Many times, she wondered how I managed to remain cool and
calm and my house was well managed, things arranged on proper place and I was
in gaga mood.
calm and my house was well managed, things arranged on proper place and I was
in gaga mood.
“Di, tell me your secret. How you manage? I am at wits end
and I feel overstressed. What to do?” Mitali enquired.
and I feel overstressed. What to do?” Mitali enquired.
I passed a smile and said, “Mitali, you work hard, but you
need to be a smart worker.”
need to be a smart worker.”
“Smart worker, Am I unsmart and dull di?” She made a long face.
I could feel that she was hurt by my words.
“Ohh, Mitali. Grow up, you talk like a school going kid. I
mean to say that you have taken all workload on your shoulder and that is the
reason that you don’t get enough time to rest or be at ease. Share your
responsibilities, it will reduce your burden and your kids and husband will
learn to manage. Afterwards, they will praise you for your effort to make them
learn to shoulder responsibility and when you are on outing, they will not pile
up the work for you and wait for your return rather they will clean and clear
the work and you will feel light at heart. Make kids and hubby independent,
they will love you more once they are independent.” I explained her.
mean to say that you have taken all workload on your shoulder and that is the
reason that you don’t get enough time to rest or be at ease. Share your
responsibilities, it will reduce your burden and your kids and husband will
learn to manage. Afterwards, they will praise you for your effort to make them
learn to shoulder responsibility and when you are on outing, they will not pile
up the work for you and wait for your return rather they will clean and clear
the work and you will feel light at heart. Make kids and hubby independent,
they will love you more once they are independent.” I explained her.
“Di…they will not feel my need once they learn to be
independent.”
independent.”
“Hey innocent Mitali, now I have to be strict with you. Come
on. I will explain to your kids and husband.”
on. I will explain to your kids and husband.”
In evening, I called up her kids and asked Mr.Chanda to join
me over tea and snacks in evening. They all were there on time as I had scheduled.
me over tea and snacks in evening. They all were there on time as I had scheduled.
“Why don’t you all help Mitali in managing household and
ease her burden? She is overloaded and irritated. I believe you all must have
marked the changes in her.” I told them.
ease her burden? She is overloaded and irritated. I believe you all must have
marked the changes in her.” I told them.
“Aunty, you are right but mamma does not allow us to do. She
feels she is perfect and we are not.” The three kids said in unison.
feels she is perfect and we are not.” The three kids said in unison.
Mr.Chanda held the same view. I told Mitali and explained
her that she should teach them else they are the ones who will face the
problems of adjustment in life. After high school, they will leave her nest for
further studies and in lack of habit of doing work, they will feel burdened and
the easy things will be tough for them.
her that she should teach them else they are the ones who will face the
problems of adjustment in life. After high school, they will leave her nest for
further studies and in lack of habit of doing work, they will feel burdened and
the easy things will be tough for them.
I started the training then and there from my house itself.
I called up the kids and distributed the work of serving ready tea and snacks
to all the people present in the house, even I did not spare Mitali’s husband.
I called up the kids and distributed the work of serving ready tea and snacks
to all the people present in the house, even I did not spare Mitali’s husband.
If I would have done all by myself, it would have taken half
an hour to distribute and with the help and support of all, I was relieved from
the work in ten minutes and none felt the burden. The smiles were running on
the faces of all.
an hour to distribute and with the help and support of all, I was relieved from
the work in ten minutes and none felt the burden. The smiles were running on
the faces of all.
Mitali had two daughters and one son and she was more
particular about her son, an attribute of a typical Indian mother. I lack this
quality, maybe because at my place, I am in minority. I am the only lady in my
house.
particular about her son, an attribute of a typical Indian mother. I lack this
quality, maybe because at my place, I am in minority. I am the only lady in my
house.
I asked Mitali to distribute the work evenly among the kids
sparing none and involve your husband too. You will feel inner happiness to
find him near to you, this way you will enjoy his company and your load will be
shared.
sparing none and involve your husband too. You will feel inner happiness to
find him near to you, this way you will enjoy his company and your load will be
shared.
After a fortnight, Mitali dropped in at my place with a
family pack of dark chocolate, my favourite one.
family pack of dark chocolate, my favourite one.
“Wow Di…really you are a magician. Your idea changed my
lifestyle and me. I feel happy and involved with my family. Previously, I used
to drag along alone and at times, I felt pity on my status but now I feel happy
and elated and the division of work has brought smiles on the faces of all and
we crack jokes, share our feelings working together and even my house is
sparkling.” She hugged me tight.
lifestyle and me. I feel happy and involved with my family. Previously, I used
to drag along alone and at times, I felt pity on my status but now I feel happy
and elated and the division of work has brought smiles on the faces of all and
we crack jokes, share our feelings working together and even my house is
sparkling.” She hugged me tight.
“Hey Mitali, leave me. I am not your hubby. Go and catch him
tight, he will enjoy the hug.” And we laughed out loud.
tight, he will enjoy the hug.” And we laughed out loud.
My daughter who was studying in next room rushed into living
room.
room.
“What happened Mom? Hope you are okay.” She enquired.
“We are very much okay, dear. We are celebrating with
chocolates.” Mitali said and laughed.
chocolates.” Mitali said and laughed.
Her lost laughter was back and I was happy to see happy
Mitali.
Mitali.
There are lot more Mitali’s in our society, who are dragging
the reins of household in her hands and has lost the glow on her face and she
is reduced to mere bickering figure.
the reins of household in her hands and has lost the glow on her face and she
is reduced to mere bickering figure.
- Share the workload among the family members.
- Involve them with yourself in arranging things, cleaning
the house, laundry and cooking as per their capacity.
- Make the family people independent and caring so that when
you are unwell or out of town, they don’t suffer.
There is no gender stereotyping in household work, all can
do all jobs and with practice, they will excel. Remember failures are the
pillars of success and all learn with trial and error, no one is perfect.
do all jobs and with practice, they will excel. Remember failures are the
pillars of success and all learn with trial and error, no one is perfect.
The woman of the family needs to take the initiative to
induce the feeling of sharing the load and it will be passed on from one
generation to another. If a child is watching his father, brother and sister
sharing work, he will follow the same trend for his family and the coming
generation will be more jolly and caring towards each other.
induce the feeling of sharing the load and it will be passed on from one
generation to another. If a child is watching his father, brother and sister
sharing work, he will follow the same trend for his family and the coming
generation will be more jolly and caring towards each other.
At a lighter note, Woman has the birth right to give birth
to a child, Men cannot snatch away her bliss, rest everything can be shared.
to a child, Men cannot snatch away her bliss, rest everything can be shared.
3 replies on “#ShareTheLoad with Gen Next!”
Very nicely and realstically written.Often times, the mother does not ask or teach others to contribute, do itall herself and yet feel deep resentment inside…
true…mothers should encourage the kids to learn few basic things n make them independent as they grow…hubby should also have a habit of helping.
Thanks Rajeev for stopping by.